Now what?

What am I supposed to do now that everything's said and done? Now that everyone has moved on to bigger and better things? Do I move on too? Am I supposed to make everything change at the snap of my fingers? Do I make everything disappear? Do I sit here and do nothing? Should I feel ashamed? Lost? Stupid? Immature? Embarrassed? How do I erase all these things that I look back on and feel so digusted at myself? Everyone tells me it's okay, but it's not okay! It's not okay with me! But it has to be, doesn't it? No one's going to stay behind with me, stay in the past and help me move on. They shouldn't have to! I need to be my own burden, not someone else's! I have to do it all myself. Right?I've got all these questions and no one can answer them but me and God. It's no one's fault but my own, I know that. But what do I do? How can I keep all these thoughts in my head? How can I move on with no one to help me? Why is this so hard? Why am I here, asking all these questions?It's all my fault. That's my only excuse, and I'm going to have to stick to it. I shouldn't be so selfish as to put all of this on the people I love. They don't deserve the consequences for the things I've done and the stupid, selfish mistakes I've made! No one deserves that but me! No one should have to go through that but the person who created the problem. Me.

Fascinating.

I wrote this after I read Jeremiah 23. It's supposed to be a song, but I don't have a tune in there anywhere. Alot of the words and phrases I got straight out of the chapter, so I thought it was pretty...fascinating.

You feed me poison, and I feed you on my dreams.
The nightmares that corrupt my broken mind, and all the things I left behind.Y
ou're making up everything you say, you don't speak for me.
You stubborn kid and your desires, no worries, no worries.
Do you hear what I'm saying? Do you care enough to listen?
Burst out like a storm until you've finished what you've planned,
In the days to come you'll understand.
If you'd stood before me and heard me speak my own words,
Am I only close at hand? Yet I'm far, far away and that's the price you'll have to pay for me.
Is there a difference between straw and grain? Do my words not burn like fire?
Does my voice not smash you to pieces as you crumble to the floor?
Your imaginary dreams and all these flagrant lies just lead me to my fall.

Woot? Hah. Look up Jeremiah 23 and see what I got from it! That guy's poetic, man. XD

Have some hope!

Life sucks. We all know that. We've all experienced something that just makes you wanna quit life and want to give up. We get hurt, we get let down, we make mistakes, we have misunderstandings, and we mess up. But, all of us take out our emotions in different ways. Some beat themselves up when they screw up, some of us take it out on the people we love, and some people even blame the bad things on God. All the things that we go through happen for a reason. We may not know the reasons right away, or we may not ever know them, but God knows. He makes everything happen for a certain reason, and in the Bible he promises that something good will always come out of the bad. He also promises that he will never ever give us something we can't handle. No matter how bad something is, how long it take you to get over it, how bad you're hurt, you're gonna get through it because God has planned it that way. He puts us through all these bad things to teach us lessons so we know next time it happens, and that's what a lot of people don't understand. People say "If God loves us so much, why does he let so much bad happen? If he's the God everyone says he is, why is he doing this to me?" He's doing it because he wants you to come to him for help so he can tell you how to handle it and make you stronger. He's doing it because he loves you. I wanted to write this for people who feel lost, alone, and hopeless. If you're someone like that, I just want you to know that the pain isn't going to last, and that God will make it better. You always have me and Jesus, and you'll never be alone. God is always going to be with you when you fail, when you mess up, and when you're hurting. So, whether you just broke up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, your parents just got a divorce, someone close to you died, you got your heart broken, you don't have a good home life, you don't have anyone to turn to, anything; you're going to be okay. I promise, and so does God. "Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

Empty.

I stood in the pouring rain, looking down the dark and empty street. My mind was blank and my body was shivering as every inch of me got heavier by the second. I couldn't hear anything but the rain falling, I couldn't think about anything, and I couldn't feel anything but the weight on my heart. I felt lost, like I had no will, or reason, to live. Like everything I had ever known had been stolen from me, like an old lady's handbag torn from her arm by a thief. Except my thief was nothing of the sort...in fact, he was everything. He was everything I'd ever wanted and more. He had been what gave me reason, what gave me strength to stand up and be the person I wasn't any longer. He fulfilled me. And as crazy as it sounds, I still loved him. Even though he had been with me for so long and been my fortress in the crossfire. Even though he had held my face in his hands and said to me that he did not love me. Even though he had taken all that had ever meant anything to me and thrown it in the back of his car and in the back of his mind, only to drive away and leave me standing here in the rain, dying. I still loved him...every single inch of him. It doesn't matter what he's done to me, or what he hasn't done. I loved him. But what was I to do? A girl with shattered hopes and dreams and all the love in my heart in the palm of someone's hand, not being used, standing clueless in the pouring rain? Who did I have to fall back on, to catch whatever was left of me and not letting me fall into this dark hole of despair that grew closer every minute? I wouldn't do anything. I was just a mere shell, nothing left inside to do anything with. Even still, after he had left me, I would always be waiting with open arms. Nothing would change that. I loved him so much...and would never stop. No matter how much it hurt me. At that moment, my thoughts were interrupted by the slop of my cold and lifeless body on the watery pavement. I didn't feel it; I wouldn't have know I had fallen if I hadn't seen the jar in my vision as the empty street disappeared. Was I dead? Had I my knees given out on me? I didn't know. So, I laid there, staring up to the starry blue sky, and cried. I no longer existed, it felt. I was gone.

Forever.

I stopped and stared at a bumble bee pollenating on a flower by the lunch room window. It was buzzing around it like it would never see another flower so beautiful again, like that was it's last chance to ever find such sweet pollen. The flower was blank. It sat there as the crazed bee zoomed and buzzed anxiously over the flower, gaining every last bit of it's sugary pollen...and finally, with one last hesitant look, the bee slowing and uncertainly buzzed away. The sudden bump on my shoulder almost made me fall into the window. Lunch was over. The scuffs of chairs and the chatter of teenagers filled my ears as I refocused on where I was. Get to physics, get to physics. I stared at my feet as I made my way through the crowd of people and up the back stairwell so I could avoid the traffic. I did not wait for him, and he did not wait for me. It was like we were two different people when we had at one time been a single being. We were just like each other and we knew more about the other than we knew about ourselves. He was my other half and I thought I was his. It was hard to believe that only one small thing had turned all of the good into bad in less than 24 hours. All these thoughts in my mind were making me panic inside and out. I had to contain myself before we faced each other again, if we did, and the silent walk to physics would hold me over. Step by step, his name rang throughout my ears and made my heart beat that much faster. I ended up in a hallway where classes were already in session and no one was around to see me falling apart. Good, more time. I thought about what to do next as I focused on remembering how to put one foot in front of the other. What was I supposed to say? How could I fix this? Were we still friends? Would we still talk? Was he still the same guy I fell in love with? Wait...no. I stopped in my tracks and surveyed what I had just said. I was in love with him? No...no no no no no. I had not fallen in love with him...as much as people thought they could prove it, I would not let myself believe that I was in love with him. Quite frankly, I didn't care if it really was true. I would not let myself believe it. My walking started again as I kept correcting the voice in my head. My eyes stayed to my feet and I didn't want to look up. There was no way I would risk seeing him again, not right now. At the first sight of him, I knew I would immediately fall apart. But...I had to. I had to keep my head high. I was not going to let him defeat me. With my courage in check for the moment and my heart on the line, I glanced up from my ripped shoes and immediately saw that electric blue that had been haunting me. He was walking towards me, but did not acknowledge my presence. Never was he as excited to see me as I was excited to see him, that was a given from the beginning. Although he seemed to be looking at me, I knew he wasn't. He was so distant that I don't think he could have seen anything, even if someone held it less than an inch in front of his handsome face. Nervousness immediately seeped through my veins and throughout my body, making my fingertips tingle and my face blood red. All my senses but my emotions and my slowly blurring vision from the tears forming in my eyes were gone. Nothing could be heard but the throbbing of my heart in my chest and his footsteps slowly making their way closer to me. My mind was buzzing hysterically and there was no way I could control myself. The panic was coming, I could feel it...I felt like I was going to be conquered by it that very second, like it was going to make my knees give out and my heart stop beating completely. Was he going to talk to me? What was about to happen? Should I smile? Should I speak? Should I move? We were getting closer and closer with each second, and I could feel the blood leave my face. I felt like a ghost floating toward him. But even though all my senses were distorted my his mere presence, I knew the pain would double the minute he made contact with me. I didn't know what I wanted; did I want him to embrace me? Did I want him to see through my ghost and pull me out of this trance he had me in? Or did I want him to disappear so I didn't have to feel this way? We were almost a yard away now, and I looked back down at my feet again. I couldn't do this...I didn't have the strength. Taking a deep and defeated breath, I lifted my head up again, and had to hold onto the wall to keep myself from collapsing. He was gone. Shocked and lost, my heart completely skipped a beat. Forcing myself off the wall, I started walking again and sped up my footsteps like I had to catch him...like he was running from me. Was all of that just my imagination? Was he really there? I couldn't take in the fact that in that small yard between us, he had disappeared in thin air. Yet, the faster I walked and the more corners I turned, I could not find him. He was really gone...and I wasn't getting him back. With one last look at the empty corridor, I fainted.

Three Wishes. :)

I wish to be brave, to stand up to all my fears so I won't have to fear my future.I can reach out and touch the things I'm afraid of and stand on my own two feet again.I wish to be courageous in all that I do so I can conquer all my weaknesses without hesitation.I want to spread my wings and not be scared of falling or stumbling again.I wish to be strong and not fall short, to resist all the weapons they throw at me.I want to stay in control when I'm being fought against and not let my guard down too soon again.I always feel so weak and overpowered and it's discouraging to a point, buit I wish to never have to feel that way, and to feel that I'm important again.Well, what the heck, just make me Superman.

Why I Will Not Get Out Of Bed.

The memories of yesterday keep me tucked deep inside, and your words still ring in my ears. It's over. It's over.
I want to jump out and run to you, but I know the cold will overwhelm me.
Your words keep my body still. It's over. It's over.
My vision blurs around the edges as tears form in my eyes.
This can't possibly be our fate...it's over. It's over.
These covers won't shield me from the outside, but we cling to each other anyways.
It's over. It's over.
The day that all these things are behind us will be the day that I arise.
But as much as I want things back to how they were, all I can do is lay here and cry.
It's over. It's over.

Your Mom. :)

If your mom was a giraffe, spotted and tall,
I would look up to her because I am so small.
If your mom was trophy, I'd put her on a shelf.
What's a trophy to do? She'd be no help.
If your mom was a ballerina, I'd put her in a leotard.
Then, I'd post the pictures on Myspace and call her a...re-o-tard.
If your mom was a fairy, I'd give her a wand.
As much as I've done to her, she'd probably make me a frog and throw me in the pond.
If your mom was a fender, I'd hit her with my car.
We all know she's never gonna get very far.
If your mom was a diaper, I wouldn't know what to do.
She's pretty much already full of poo...

Swing Vote

It's like a election these days. The campaigning never stops in this household. He's always trying to prove himself above her, pros and cons constantly weighing themselves out. They always advertise how much better they are, how much better they suit me, how much happier I will be if my choice is in theirf favor. At my ankles, they beg at me like a puppy for food, pouting and pressuring me. But I know the truth; I know that I will never be happy with either of these unruly candidates no matter the advantages. Thinking of them makes me want to turn from their wicked desires and run far away, never looking back and never slowing down. I want to escape the lies they have told me and the promises they have broken, but I know I can't; this entire election depends on me. The vote is in my hands, the future for this territory decided by me. It's evil is inescapable and will follow me the rest of my days. No matter how far or fast I can run or where I can hide, it will always hover over me like a dark and rainy cloud. Lies swoon around in my head and ring in my ears; how can I make this decision when neither are worthy? What have these demons done to deserve my vote? What lies do they expect will persuade me? Neither are greater than the other, but equal. Their bad politics have shown enough of their true colors for me to really know how low they shall both venture to win my heart. But what can I do other than sit alone and count down the days to election day? I can only hope for one day, these poor sinners can lay down the signs and the banners, the lies and the broken promises, and the bad politics they have brewed. Mother and father will battle no longer when this election is over.

Mary Elizabeth McCauley.

My heart belongs to another, and I
Ardently spread the love he gives.
Raise up your hands, poor sinner!
Your heart needs his guidance!
Even in the face of danger he protects you,
Leaving you stronger than ever before.
In his arms you surrender,
Zealously loving him and all he does for you.
All the things of this world beating down on you
Become nothing when he's around.
Everything is lifted off your shoulders and you can breathe again.
Tell him what you've done, poor child;
He'll make it disappear.
Make his love known!
Commitment is required.
Carrying your burdens, doesn't he deserve it?
All that he's done for you?
Unlock the doors you've built and let him in.
Let him love you like he loves me.
Even if you can't see him,
You know he's there, and that my heart belongs to him.

Wuthering Heights.

So, I'm reading this book called Wuthering Heights. It's the best book I have ever read, and I'm only on page 75. It's said alot of things to me that I didn't understand before I read it.

This book was written in the 1800s. So far, the old servant at Wuthering Heights is telling this man a story. He recently got snowed in and was forced to stay at Wuthering Heights. Heathcliff, the keeper, is mean and bitter, and lots of small things happen to the man staying there. Well, once he is able to leave, he does and travels to where he was supposed to be staying, Thrusscross Grange. The old servant there, who had been the servant at Wuthering Heights when she was young, is telling him the whole story behind Wuthering Heights. Catherine was a child when Nelly, the servant, was a child at Wuthering Heights. Long story short, Catherine loved Heathcliff. He was her best friend, her everything. But she loved Edgar Linton from Thrusscross Grange too, but not as she loved Heathcliff. The people at Wuthering Heights were all bitter, disturbed, lower class. The most sane was Catherine and Nelly, if sane at all. The people at Thrusscross Grange, aka the Lintons, we're much more respectable and higher class. You have to read the book to understand. I just wanted to type up some quotes that stuck out to me.

Catherine said this about Edgar when Nelly asked her why she had accepted Edgar's proposal."I love the ground under his feet, and the air above his head, and everything he touches, and every word he says. I love all his looks, and all his actions, and him entirely and altogether."

Catherine said this to Nelly when Nelly asked her that if she married Edgar, what would happen to Heathcliff."I've no more business to marry Edgar Linton than I have to be in heaven; and if the wicked man in there had not brought Heathcliff so low, I shouldn't have thought of it. It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; so he shall never know how I love him: and that, not because he's handsome, Nelly, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same; and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire."

Catherine said his when Nelly told her she would be almost killing Heathcliff if she married Edgar Linton."It is not! It is the best! The others were the satisfaction of my whims: and for Edgar's sake, too, to satisfy him. This is for the sake of one who comprehends in his person my feelings for Edgar and myself. I cannot express it; but surely you and everybody else have a notion that there is, or should be, an existence of yours beyond you. What were the use of my creation, if I were merely contained here? My great miseries in this world have been Heathcliff's miseries, and I watched and felt each from the beginning: my great thought in living is himself. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else were annihilated, the universe would turn into a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it. My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I am Heathcliff! He's always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure to myself, but as my own being. So don't talk of our separation again: it is impracticable."

After Heathcliff had run away for over three years and Catherine had married Edgar, he finally came back. This is Catherine and Heathcliff's conversation upon his return, when he visited Thrusscross Grange."I shall think of it a dream tomorrow!" she cried. "I shall not be able to believe that I have seen, and touched, and spoken to you once more. And yet, cruel Heathcliff! You don't deserve this welcome. To be absent and silent for three years, and never to think of me!" "A little more than you have thought of me," he murmured. "I heard of your marriage, Cathy, not long since; and, while waiting in the yard below, I meditated this plan: --just to have one glimpse of your face: a stare of surprise, perhaps, and pretended pleasure; afterwards settle my score with Hindley; and then prevent the law by doing execution on myself. Your welcome has put these ideas out of my mind; but beware of meeting me with another aspect of time! Nay, you'll not drive me off again. You were really sorry for me, were you? Well, there was cause. I've fought through a bitter life since I last heard your voice; and you must forgive me, for I struggled only for you!"

Wow. Powerful stuff. Emily Bronte rocks my socks off. :)
I know I'm a dork for typing up all this crap, but you gotta love me.

Run.

Stop running.
Who do you think you're getting away from, coward?
You think you can leave and things will be gone when you come back?
You think things will be fixed when you finally show your face?
Well you're wrong.
You can run all you want.
You can run far away and never look back,but you can't hide.
You can't get away from anything.
Because the minute you get back, it will all be waiting right where you left it.
So handle your problems like a real human being and stop running away.
Stop running from the truth. Stop running from reality.
There's no escaping it...there's no escaping yourself.
Because no matter what you do,
it will always catch up with you.

Pillows.

Soft and comforting, you're all I need. Something to fall into, something I can think of. A soft place to go when life is too hard. Something to hold onto when you're slipping away. A friend when you're alone.What do you have to cling to that won't let you go? What do you have to fall into that will always catch you? What can you trust that won't tell your secrets? What can you cry on that won't push you away? What can you love that won't get up and walk out on you? Nothing. Nothing but...pillows.

Rag Doll.

I laid cold and still where my owner had tossed me. Mufasa, the evil looking zebra elephant, was staring right at me and to be honest, it was creeping me out. I decided to focus on other things to avoid his beady red eyes. My left eye felt like it was going to be popping off soon and the bottoms of my black cloth feet were worn. I had stuffing peeking out of the seam on my right hip and didn't know if I could take much more before I bit the dust. The fact was, I really didn't want to leave, no matter how badly he treated me. And what did he know other than I was a hunk of fluff and not a real thinking thing? When he was younger, he took me everywhere. I can't even count the hours he kept me tucked under his shoulder when he went to the dentist, to the park, everywhere. Those were certainly the years! I felt a bump on the bed shake me and interrupt my thoughts. I heard a meow and a quiet hiss directed at Mufasa. Only the cat. Hopefully she won't gnaw on my forehead today so I could think straight. Speaking of thinking, what was I just saying? Oh yeah, oh yeah...the good old days. I missed them so much. He would hold me tight at night when he would go to sleep, he would use me to wipe his tears away when he was crying, and I was his pillow when he needed something to fall back on. I thought I had it made and that I'd always have my best friend with me. Well, little did I know that kids grow up and things change. I, myself, hadn't ever experienced change. I was a rag doll for crying out loud...my hair didn't get longer like his, my legs and arms didn't get longer like his. I was the same forever, with the exception of my rips and tears. But, time flew by and things changed more and more each day. New things happened, new people showed up, new places were created and I was being left behind more often. It went from one day a week, to three days, to four, and then all seven. All seven days of every week I laid alone on his bed waiting for him to come home. I couldn't call out his name, I couldn't run after him, I couldn't tell him how much I loved him or how I needed him. I couldn't do anything but lay there and wait to see his face again, if I did. When the days together faded to only nights together, I wasn't completely upset. At least he still held me tight as he slept, and at least he still came to me with his problems. A bad day at school would bring him straight to his room and into my arms; a long day at work would guide him straight underneath the covers right beside me and put him to sleep. But, just as I started getting used to the new changes, more were made and more were still coming. I was often put away when other people came over, and at night I was put to the corner of the bed, left to watch him sleep without me next to him. With all my new time to think, I had figured out that there was no getting him back now and no way to go back to what once was. Before, I was his Molly, and now I was his rag doll from when he was a kid. Once an insider, always behind the scenes, and now a stranger to this new person I no longer recognized. Oh, how I longed for that boy's touch...how I craved his warmth that I used to know so well! But, I knew for certain, there was no getting it back. The past was the past and it was time for me to move on. Just as this last thought had crossed my mind, I heard a knob turn and slow footsteps coming from behind me. My flat, featureless face was against the wall, and I did not know who had entered the room. It was silent for a long time, at least thirty minutes. It was like this unknown person was just standing behind me, staring at me. I could feel someone's eyes digging into my back, through the cloth dress I wore and through the plush that defined me. And then, out of nowhere, I felt his hand clutch onto me and lift me from the ocean blue comforter and into the air. He turned me over and looked me in the eyes, rubbing the ripped seam in my hip. His eyes were melancholy and cold, and he had a hurt look draped across his face. Like, something inside him was paining him to be holding me so. I wanted so much to open the cursed stitches of my mouth and tell him how much I missed him and how much I loved him, but I knew it would never be so, and he would never know how this little rag doll wanted to be loved again. He looked to the floor and then back up at me, like he was deciding. And then, with one slow and hesitated motion, he tossed me into the trash can. Was this happening? Had I lost him AND this world I'd grown used to? No no no no no no no...this can't possibly be happening...I must be dreaming, if a doll can dream! Suddenly, this feeling started seeping through my soft body, like my stitches and my seems were all being ripped and cut out. How can a doll feel this way? How can something like me, merely made of loose fabric, feel such a horrible emotion! And it got worse by the second! I didn't know I loved him this much...I didn't know I could hurt so much for one person, for one being! I could feel my mind slowly stopping up, almost like I was ceasing to exist before his eyes and before my own eyes. He had thrown me away, and my time here was over. What could I do? I certainly could not survive in this trash can, in constant darkness. I could not survive the burning sensation and the emptiness coursing through me, or what was left of Molly. There was nothing else I could do but die. I let go and slowly slipped away into the darkness of this hole that was now my grave. Farewell, farewell.

Lemonhead.

Pain. Real pain.
Not losing a family pet.
Not getting your sucker snatched away from you as a little kid.
Not falling and scraping your knee, or breaking a bone.
Real pain.
Like losing your best friend.
Like losing all you've ever loved.
Like being alone and having nothing.
When things hit you all at once and it knocks you down.
And when it takes you forever to get back up, and when you do,
It knocks you down again.
Pain. Real pain.
It makes your look on life a little different.
You appreciate more...think about things more...
But do you know what it feels like?
It feel like every good moment is going to be surrounded by pain. Like a lemonhead. You have to suck on it for forever and go through the horribly sour crap to get to that five seconds of sweet stuff in the middle.
And just like that, the good stuff is gone. In order to get more, you have to go through that long period of pain just to get to that little good thing.
I don't know if I'm strong enough to do that my entire life.
But I know God made it this way on purpose, and that he'll get me through it one way or another.

Christian One Liners

Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.
It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
The good Lord didn't create anythingwithout a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
People are funny; they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and
the back of the church.
Opportunity may knock once, but temptationbangs on your front door forever.
Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.
God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?
Some minds are like concretethoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
Peace starts with a smile.
I don't know why some peoplechange churches; what difference doesit make which one you stay home from?
A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises.
We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He'll clean them.
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
Forbidden fruits create many jams.
God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
God grades on the cross, not the curve.
God loves everyone, but probably prefers"fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
He who angers you, controls you!
If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!
Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!
The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
The Will of God never takes you towhere the Grace of God will not protect you.
We don't change the message, the message changes us.
You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for everything I've done,
Making it dark when we had the sun,
Stitching up the holes I've made,
Overreacting when things were okay,
Rambling on about how things are my fault,
Regretting not answering all those times you called,
Yelling at you when I had no idea why,
Forgetting how hard it is to see me cry,
Opening up when I needed to stay closed,
Realizing how much I left you alone,
Eating up all your words and using them against you,
Verifying that you loved me because I didn't believe you,
Earning your respect and then losing it again,
Running away when you needed a friend,
Yearning for more when you gave me the world,
Trying to hold you straight when you twisted and twirled,
Hating when you kept me at the end of the line,
Ignoring you when you just wanted some time,
Not returning all that I still owe you,
Giving up when things didn't go how I wanted them to.

Even though the journey could have been a little better,
We sure as hell got through it together.
If there's one thing I know that I do,
It's unconditionally loving you.
And that is something I will never be sorry for.