Your Mom. :)

If your mom was a giraffe, spotted and tall,
I would look up to her because I am so small.
If your mom was trophy, I'd put her on a shelf.
What's a trophy to do? She'd be no help.
If your mom was a ballerina, I'd put her in a leotard.
Then, I'd post the pictures on Myspace and call her a...re-o-tard.
If your mom was a fairy, I'd give her a wand.
As much as I've done to her, she'd probably make me a frog and throw me in the pond.
If your mom was a fender, I'd hit her with my car.
We all know she's never gonna get very far.
If your mom was a diaper, I wouldn't know what to do.
She's pretty much already full of poo...